Collection: Statement Tees
No category. No tribe. Just a shirt that says exactly what you'd never say out loud but have been thinking since Tuesday. These are the unclassifiable ones — the shirts that start conversations, end friendships, and get you kicked out of at least one family dinner. If you looked at all the other collections and thought 'I'm worse than all of these' — this is yours. Welcome home, degenerate.
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MY KID'S TEACHER SMILED AT ME
Regular price From $29.99 USDRegular priceSale price From $29.99 USD -
I SHOW UP EARLY TO SCHOOL PICKUP
Regular price From $29.99 USDRegular priceSale price From $29.99 USD -
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MY WIFE CHECKS MY PHONE EVERY NIGHT
Regular price From $29.99 USDRegular priceSale price From $29.99 USD -
I BLEW THREE GUYS LAST NIGHT
Regular price From $29.99 USDRegular priceSale price From $29.99 USD -
I DIDN'T PULL OUT IN TIME
Regular price From $29.99 USDRegular priceSale price From $29.99 USD -
I SPIT OR SWALLOW?
Regular price From $29.99 USDRegular priceSale price From $29.99 USD -
I CAN'T FIND THE HOLE
Regular price From $29.99 USDRegular priceSale price From $29.99 USD -
I FINISHED IN UNDER 2 MINUTES
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I CAME TOO EARLY
Regular price From $29.99 USDRegular priceSale price From $29.99 USD